Mindful $pender

 Change doesn’t happen overnight.

  

As I was struggling to mend the broken pieces of myself, I accepted the reality that everything will not be fixed effortlessly. I take it one step at a time. Slowly, I get inspiration to each and every talk of Bro. Bo. Every word uttered seemed like a voice coming from God. It’s as if, the many years of waiting for answers to so many questions where delivered to me through his messages.

Bit by bit, my shattered self-worth is lifted up. It didn’t take days; it took me weeks and even months to finally make a difference.

 

I asked myself why, one day I feel good and then the next, I feel down.

 

Bro Bo said:

 

“Habits are a thousand times more powerful than our desires.”

 

Then I knew, for the past years I have developed a habit of belittling myself. I criticize each and every thought of proving myself to others before I even make a move. So even if I desired to be the exceptional person I always wanted to be, I still can’t hack it.

 

I have to learn a new habit- to LOVE MYSELF

 

It sounds easy but it is not. So let me share with you what I have learned from Bro. Bo himself.

 

1. Greet yourself with happiness and affection.

 

                We often greet our friends with so much love but we never have really given ourselves the VIP treatment that we deserve. Let us practice this more often. Greet yourself with warmth just like how you greet your friends and family.

   

2. Accept yourself as who you are.     

 

              I struggle on this one a lot and I know you are too. We normally compare ourselves to others with regards to our appearance, possessions and achievements in life. I believe most of us are facing this dilemma of accepting who we are especially now that we are exposed to social media where we see people showcasing every best part of their life. They’ve got a purpose and you got yours. People give us inspiration through their experiences and all the good things they possess. Our purpose, on the other hand, is to be inspired and develop the better version of our self but not to compare.

 

3. Forgive yourself.

   

                Sometimes the biggest hindrance to loving our self is our capability to forgive our mistakes and failures. We have very high expectations on ourselves that whenever we fail, we find it hard to accept them. If God can forgive us, why can’t we? You are way more precious than your sins in the eyes of God.

 

4. Nurture yourself and nourish your needs.

 

              The simplest principle of self-nurturing is taking care of you. Each of us has a personal approach to this. It varies to every person. It is very important to feel good about yourself. There is a greater chance for you to become more productive if you cater first to your own needs. Every little “feel-good” vibe will radiate from you. Trust me, it’s contagious.

 

5. Set your boundaries.

  

              As Bro Bo said, start loving yourself by protecting you from people who exploit you, abuse you, steal from you, look down on you, call you names and criticize you. I know there are a lot of people around us who are like those he has mentioned. And maybe they are close friends and even families. All you have to do is set boundaries. Expose yourself to them in such a way that you will not be infected by their negativity and pessimism. Limit your time from these critical people. Life has a lot of toxins to offer, I bet you do not need extra.

 

6. Affirm yourself.

 

       I confess, this is Bro Bo’s most difficult-to-follow advice. Admit it; it’s hard to shout out loud saying “I am beautiful”. People might think you’re crazy, right? I think what he just wants to tell us is that, you have to constantly affirm yourself that you are worthy because you may not always hear it from people close to you. I believe, if you always remind yourself of every good thing in you, you will soon develop a healthy self-love.

 

7. Invest in great relationship.

 

        When we engage to people close to us and decided to invest in a good relationship with them, we are giving ourselves the license to live a meaningful life. A great relationship, I believe, is powerful because it gives a positive effect on our well-being. We get inspired and feel good about ourselves.

 

8. Keep growing and keep getting better in every area of your life.

 

            Upon hearing this from Bro Bo, I realize this is where I should focus more on. Loving yourself entails responsibility. Being accountable to your own growth is taking charge of your own destiny. I had nothing. It’s merely because I don’t have the power over myself-my growth, my future and my happiness. This was the biggest lesson I had to learn in my life. To receive love, take control of your destiny. Keep getting better.

 

9. Follow your dreams.

 

          And this followed… Really! One day, I found myself grinning. Visions of a bright future keep flashing in my mind. Now, I have dreams. When I finally take control of my life, I decided to follow my dreams. Before, my only dream is to have a happy family. Little did I know that just like other dreams, “happy family” does not only happen. You have to work for it every single day.  Following dreams doesn’t mean waiting for the right time to happen. It means walking and working toward it.

 

10. Serve others who need your love.

 

           The best reward of loving yourself is a big cultivated heart for others. When love overflows, we have the tendency to spread it. That’s when we begin to think and care for others. Let us use our giftedness for serving others. Unknowingly, there are a lot of people who need our love. Serve in the best way you could- leaving an invaluable mark of LOVE in their hearts.

 

 “The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is.” ---Jim Carrey